Anti-Smoker Bigotry

At 10:15 a.m this I left the sweltering humidity of stuffy Manhattan behind, boarding the train at Penn Station I was bound for Connecticut.  It was then that my fortune took a turn for the worse, Amtrak sat me next to an elderly Indian man. He was not the cool kind of Indian either, you know the one with a Mohawk and throwing  hatchet, this Indian was of the 7/11 variety that refuses to wear deodorant.

I turned to the gentleman and respectfully said, “ Bro, you fuckin` reak, have some class, you’re in America now and your behaving like a complete amateur.”

The colored lady two seats over discreetly grinned, she knew what time it was. Suddenly, this nasty white chic with red blotches of acne covering her face opened her big trap and said, ‘Sir check your white privilege, this man’s culture discourages deodorant.”

“and some cultures eat their captives after a fever-pitched skirmish, now what?” I barked.

Things quickly deescalated and as the train departed from the station I reached in my jacket and pulled out my Marlboro’s, I then lit one up and signed with relief as I exhaled my first big drag.

It was then that the world’s hottest chic lost control, staring a hole right through me. I get this reaction very often because I am striking and exceptionally hip for a forty-five-year-old. However, to my chagrin, the lesbian sitting beside her began to babble something derogatory and hateful, “You can’t smoke on this train you fucking retard!”

This was the first time that I acknowledged actual discrimination, this unappealing female was harassing me for being a smoker. There have been instances that I know people were quietly ridiculing me, but this was overtly belittling.

“Listen, lady, I have every right to exist, this is America and I can do whatever I want to do. I am a smoker, this is my lifestyle, how dare you chastise me you son of a bitch.” I tearfully bemoaned.

Just the two white males promptly threw me off the train, they were probably racist homosexuals.

Long story short, I believe that I am the victim of a hate- crime and will pursue a civil-class-action suit against Amtrak for 38 million dollars, for pain, suffering, and humiliation.

alphamagnus

Leave a Reply